Another weekend passes-

Hey Everybody! Another week and weekend passed without playing poker...I'm seriously thinking about getting a new group of friends! Naw...I'm just kidding. You guys rock.

This weekend I had the opportunity to go "on the road" with Saint and his rugby buddies...I'd call them boys, but Kyle will get mad at me! They had an important game in Atlanta, GA and they kicked ass. Next weekend, the game is in Mobile, AL- and for those of us that have passed through that hick-town (and stayed Gawd forbid!) we know how much fun they won't be having.

Off to work again this week...One day this vicious cycle called life will be easy, and work won't be a problem or an option! Ahh...better start playing the lottery since I'm gamblin on winnin at some point!

Toodles for now!

How do you say "Happy Easter" in Greek?

That's the only thing I didn't figure out this weekend. As you all know, I went to Montreal this weekend to do Easter with the Greeks- well it was an Italian/Greek thing- it was FUN.

Ok so- the sister, the husband and the dog didn't come along. The sister and the dog were both sick..it must have been the thought of that baby lamb roasting on the spit. But that's ok, it sure was DAMN GOOD! We arrived Saturday by noon and the eating didn't stop until Monday when we left. I'm not even exaggerating. Saturday's meal was all the 'gross' things you find inside a lamb that gets taken out when you prepare it for roasting on the spit. Read that as the heart, lungs, liver, kidneys and intestines sliced and barbequed...Just to clarify...I didn't eat any of that stuff. The men sure liked it. Now Sunday was the day I was waiting for...my cousin Rick told us that the roasting would be starting at 6am...there was no way I was going to be there that early. Also being Easter Sunday, we had to make our way to church. I ended up attending an Italian mass said by a French Priest. So needless to say-fun would not be the word I would use to describe that. When that was done, it was a quick change of clothes and off to Rick's house for the grub. I'll be generous with the time, and say it was about 11:30am when we got there- he had bbq'd sausages on the grill that were sliced and served with lots of cheese (both Italian and Greek) and olives (again both Italian and Greek) outside around the spit. It was so cool. We got to meet Cathy's (that's Rick's girl) family- so we met Dimitri (her dad) and George (her brother). We also met her cousin Matula and her brother Chris. Very cool people. Once we made our way inside the house we found Cathy at the stove gasp! and her sister-in-law Joanna, her mother Christine and her younger sister Maria. Also playing upstairs were Joanna's children Kristina, Maria and her baby son Dimitri sleeping his little heart out. He's only a month and a half old. So he was allowed to sleep- bu the fact that he could sleep with that the noise that we were making was pretty miraculas!
So we had girl talk inside and boy talk outside with the occasional mingling of the sexes when food was to be eaten. By the time dinner was served, let's just say that everybody was feeling pretty good. And by pretty good...I mean pretty good.
Now here comes by favourtie moment of the night. Dimitri aka Jimmy was talking to Frank (this by the way was the first time both sets of parents met eachother) but his English was very peppered with Greek (which we don't speak) and after about 10 minutes of talking he stopped and looked at Frank as if he was waiting for a response. Now Frank having no clue as to what was just said to him, looks at my dad and says, 'traduca per me' meaning 'translate for me'- in Italian, and my dad having no clue said 'no hablo espanol' which means 'i don't speak spanish' in Spanish. It was said with such a dead pan face that the whole table burst out laughing. It was such a classic moment.
Throughout the night at the house we had four languages (French, Italian, Greek and English) constantly being spoken to 16 people. That's pretty good odds. And it could have been 5 but nobody spoke Spanish even though people present did speak that language!
Chiro and his girlfriend also popped in for a quick hello but he left as fast as he arrived. He says hi to everyone. We left Ricky's house around midnight stuffed to the gills and having had a wonderful Easter.

We've been invited next week again for the Greek Easter...who knows, we might have round 2!

Neighbourhood Watching-

It's kinda like bird-watching, but much more entertaining!

So I've taken to looking out my bathroom window whenever I pass that way- and these are some of the wierd things I see on an-all-too-regular basis:

Wierd Blue Cotten Robe Girl: She lives in the house across the street, well actually she doesn't. Three guys live in that house..but she's there...standing in the front door with an incredibly ugly shade of blue cotton robe. She frequently wears this blue cotton robe when she sits on the front stoop to smoke. Does she want the rest of us to have pity for her and buy her a new one? Or does she want us to know how bad her taste in bathroom apparel (or all clothing!) really is. And furthermore, does she have clothes? I'm assuming she doesn't drive over in that! So Wierd blue cotten robe girl, if your stuck in the basement- at least look for an old curtain or a potato sack- anything would be an improvement over this.

Man Who Never Picks Up After His Dog: You are gross. You stand there and look around waiting for your nasty dog to finish- and then you walk away. This has got to stop. It's nasty. I never walk on the opposite side of my street because of you. There are old people who live and walk on that side of the street! Be a decent human being...or let somebody else walk the dog.

Kid Who Thinks He's A Gangster: Listen up! We don't live in NYC. Your thuggin outfit is interesting, and I know it cost a lot of money- but honey- nobody believes you! Buy shirts that are your size (and in some NORMAL colours), pull up your pants, fix your hat and hide your fake-ass-platnum chain. You're like twelve. In a few years, your going to have to stop anyways. To top it all off, you catch a BUS! Pathetic little gangsta you...

Later I'll comment on the street crazies I meet at work- trust me, you're gonna wanna tune in for this one :)

HA!

Was that all it took to get some comments made! From now on I will re-count poker night my own way just so you guys can set the record!

Poker Update- and it was a good one!

Ah the conversation that swirls around our poker games...I'm telling ya- if I could record audio- nobody would ever show up..the name calling, the "what's chicago again?", the slurrin of the words after a few too many cosmo's by one player who 'had a stressful week both physically and emotionally'...ok so next time...check your drama at the door and be able to hold a few not-even-strong-cosmo's! I hope you didn't cancel on your breakfast date today or somebody should stun-gun you!

So back to the players: Guess-who-forgot-to-ante-up? , Sweeten-the-pot, But-I-haven't-won-yet and Big-Fish who finally admitted he didn't like this name so I shall now call him Folds-a-lot. It was going to be Folds-a-lot-so-we-can-never-win-his-money but that was just too damn long! Or maybe even I'm-all-in but that names already taken...so Folds-a-lot it is! And of course ME who's name is You-should-be-a-dealer but I should change it too Kick-ass-poker-player, but I'm not that vain. Hey! No stiffling the laughter...I can hear you!

Some highlights of the game- Yes, I will admit I finally folded a hand. Two in fact...and yes I wrote it on the calander. For those of you who aren't regular players, I'm known for not folding and never letting 'check' go by when I know I have a good chance of winning- that's just taking money from my hands!
We had Sweeten-the-pot 'draw' the 'low hearts' on the wooden table top with her fingertip and then wonder why she couldn't remember what the chicago was..and that was during the first cosmo.
But-I-haven't-won-yet won another HUGE pot. The final round of betting was $400 a piece not to mention the couple hundred on the table from the previous rounds.
Folds-a-lot went 'all in' a few times but each time split the pot- once with Sweeten-the-pot and he graciously gave her more than she actually earned...awww...wasn't that nice? Then he demanded his $58 back and by that time Sweeten-the-pot was over protective with her chips and we all had to convince her that it was OK. That's when But-I-haven't-won-yet had to call in mother hen for a "tell your kids to behave" and Sweeten-the-pot got told that she was obnoxious! That was totally my highlight of the night! Ahhh...I can still hear it now..
And finally the biggest hightlight of my night was when I layed down a sweet $1000 (yes you counted the zeros correctly- thousand) dollar bet and not only did I kick Sweeten-the-pot's ass she didn't have enough to put in to match my bet. Applause and angels playing their harps were heard- then she got all grabby and stole Guess-who-forgot-to-ante-up?'s chips and played with them.

All in all another rousing night of poker was had. I say again, standing reservation Friday's at my place 7pm. And thanks guys for coming out again :)

for the ONE who is kept so far

Distance has brought us together,
And yet it keeps us apart,
And now I lie without solace,
For the absence of my own twin heart.

Distance brought us closer,
And yet you are further away,
And now I lie here waiting,
For the coming of that day,

When distance shall bring you nearer,
And never shall it be,
That I am to lie without you,
Distance has brought you to me.

Elevator Lady

So I'm on the elevator, and this woman gets on. She pushes a button, then gasps "Oh my god!" and pushes a different button. She turns and looks directly at me with these big Stricken-Hurt-Animal eyes "I am so sorry" she says "I pushed the wrong button!" "It's Ok" I say, then stare off in the middle distance with my special this-conversation-is-over posture. She tries to laugh but it comes out shaky and wierd. "Now we're going to have to stop! Sorry! Oh well!" The elevator stops at the floor neither of us want and she jabs the 'close door' button a million times saying "sorry!". I fully expected her to start punching herself in the head and saying "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" like a retarded kid in an after school special.

Elevator lady- listen carefully- the medication is not working!

WARNING!

I made a startling discovery the other day when driving back to work after lunch at a chinese buffet. I was amazed that the Consumer Product Safety Commission hasn't acted on this before now. Lives hang in the balance!
Are you ready for this unsettling warning?
Don't sneeze with tic-tac in your mouth. Especially while driving.You laugh but consider this. Depending upon which website you look at, the average human sneeze is somewhere around 100 miles an hour. That works out to about 146 feet per second.So here I am driving back to work when the glare of the sun caused me to "ACHOO!" I had popped a tic-tac in my mouth to avoid any work related awkwardness from toxic smells.... Of course, the sneeze snuck up on me and I didn't have time to cover my mouth. The result was a tic-tac richocheting around the inside of my vehicle at 146 feet per second.Fortunately, no one was injured, although I did have to wipe some minty mucous off my windshield.

So beware! Tic-tac safety should be number one priority!

: Post Secret :

Here's another selection - I know you've been waiting...

The New Story of Creation...

God created the mule, and told him, "You will be mule, working constantly from dawn to dusk, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years." The mule answered, "To live like this for 50 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was so.

Then God created the dog, and told him, "You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years."And the dog responded, "Lord, to live 25 years as a dog like that is too much. Please, no more than 10 years."And it was so.

God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years."And the monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10 years." And it was so.

Finally, God created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years." And the man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 30 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected."And it was so.

And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 30 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry; then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like an idiot to amuse his grandchildren!!