What??

My chances against pneumonia are great!

This guy might have a good chance against pneumonia, if that was his problem.

He looks like he's having a massive heart attack. Or his wife's meatloaf keeps repeating on him.

I think he's having an acute anaphylactic reaction to the decor.Who puts an ass (pardon me, I meant donkey), complete with a saddle, on their end table as a decoration?

The child will need theraputic counseling for years after this traumatic attempt at fever assessment.


Do you know, when somebody tells me they think they are running a fever, I instinctively feel their forehead and then I take their temp? As you do too...admit it!

I have no doubt that the first humans did the same thing. I imagine this scene, set in a pre-historic cave:
Caveman: "Feel hot!"
Cavewoman: "No. Have pain in head."
Caveman: "Not that. Skin hot!"
Cavewoman: "Me feel face." (Puts hand on forehead.) "Skin hot. Eat two of berries. Call giver of health when light comes."
Caveman: "Me sick. No care for self. Must have all things done for me."
Sorry guys, but some things never change.

Of course...this is the fever in me talking now! So I'll stop here!