Wanna see my grill?

Is the universe trying to tell us something? Should more of us had become dentists? When did decorating your teeth become a good idea?? Seriously?
Now don't get me wrong, it's fascinating to see Paul Wall or Mike Jones with a total amount of 12 (yes twelve) carets on their top 4 teeth- but I look because it's scary! not attractive!! Actually, Mike Jones has both his top and bottom teeth encrusted with diamonds- I'm fascinated that he can still speak!
I've had a few memorable experiences: The funniest one being from the Atlanta Airport in January...those of you who were with me- you can start laughin at any moment! This lady - and I use the term loosely- started to speak, but the glare from her teeth caused me physical pain! and I couldn't think! Every time she opened her mouth this glow came out..I thought it was the light at the end of the tunnel! That's when she smiled...and I noticed it! Her big old diamond just chillin' on her front tooth. Sexy don't ya think!?!?
Then there was: My friend and I were heading to Jack Astors to grab some lunch. A man flashed his fronts at me. Or maybe the proper term is "bared". Anyway, he came out of the restaurant, saw me, looked me up and down once and then put his upper teeth over his bottom lip and sort of nodded at me. I'm sure I looked back- I know I stopped walking! My friend stopped walking too! I looked at her and we started laughin...the man actually thought he was sexy!
So maybe the universe is trying to tell us that we need to be CREST KIDS! So we don't feel the need to hide our teeth with gold, platinum or any type of gems. Besides, they look prettier where everybody can see them- not swimming around in saliva :)
Did you know that we even have tooth-tattoos now? Apparently plain ol' teeth are boring to look at! I wonder how long you have to stare in the mirror to decide that your smile would truly look better if it had a rose painted on it! Or a skull!
I used to think kissing a smoker was bad. I once compared it to licking an ashtray. Who's willing to kiss somebody with precious metal in their mouth? Would it taste like licking a battery? I imagine (hope?!) they jewels are filed down to a flat surface, so as to not cut the inside of your mouth.
More importantly- does it hurt your jaw to wear all this? Do you come home at night complaining about a headache and your significant other yells out to remove your teeth! Do you just wear them when your going out? Like an accessory?
The next time somebody compliments your naturally pearly whites- say thank you! With all the bling out there the competition is getting stiff :)